I recently attended a seminar with Arthur C. Brooks, a Harvard professor and author of The Happiness Files. His message was clear, provocative, and deeply relevant—especially for those of us who’ve experienced bullying in the workplace.
Brooks breaks down happiness into three core pillars: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. Simple ideas on the surface. But when you’ve spent years in a workplace where those feelings were absent, where your value, voice, and dignity were slowly eroded, these pillars take on new meaning.
I know this firsthand. For years, I worked in high-profile executive positions in television production, unaware that what I was experiencing was workplace bullying. I thought it was just the industry. High stress. Critical feedback or no feedback. Pressure to perform.
Looking back, I can see it clearly now: verbal attacks, intentional exclusion, intimidation masked as “leadership.” And the toll it took was real: anxiety, recurring nightmares, digestive issues, hypervigilance, even suicidal thoughts. These weren’t just bad days at work. These were signs of a deeper problem.
And Brooks names what that problem took from me – enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.
The Three Pillars of Happiness – And How Bullying Destroys Them
I had five key takeaways from the session that resonated deeply:
Enjoyment isn’t just pleasure: It’s pleasure plus people plus memory.
It’s the dinner you remember not for the food, but for the connection. The project that mattered because you created it with people who respected you. Bullying strips enjoyment from work by replacing camaraderie with fear.
Satisfaction comes from effort, not outcomes.
We feel true satisfaction when we struggle, persevere, and finish something with integrity. Bullying blocks this by shifting the goals, diminishing your contributions, or crediting someone else for your work.
Meaning is rooted in purpose, coherence, and connection.
Work has meaning when it aligns with your values, makes sense within the broader context, and fosters connections with others. Bullying isolates. It disconnects. It creates a workplace that feels incoherent, unsafe, and directly opposed to your values.
Happiness is the balance of these three pillars.
It’s not about chasing pleasure or success. It’s about integrating enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning into your day-to-day life.
You can build happiness through your habits.
According to Brooks, 50% of our happiness is genetic. But 25% comes from the habits we build at home and at work. That’s where change becomes possible.
What Bullying Steals From You
Let’s break it down into these three pillars:
- Enjoyment disappears when the workplace feels unsafe.
- Satisfaction fades when you’re constantly undercut or overworked.
- Meaning erodes when your values are ignored or dismissed.
And when those three pillars fall, so does your sense of self.
This isn’t just about morale. It’s about mental health. It’s about physical health. It’s about whether you wake up energized or already bracing yourself for torment.
Can Happiness Be Rebuilt After Bullying?
The good news, according to Brooks, and I agree, is that it is indeed yes. It takes time and intention. But it’s possible.
For me, the first step was awareness. Naming what had happened. Calling it bullying, not “just a bad boss” or “part of the job or industry.” Where there are people at work, there are bullies at work.
The second step was connection, talking to others who had also been through it. Realizing I wasn’t the only one.
And the third was rebuilding habits that support the three pillars Brooks outlines:
- Enjoyment: Reconnecting with people who lift me, not tear me down.
- Satisfaction: Focusing on progress, not perfection.
- Meaning: Sharing my story to help others see their own more clearly.
For Leaders: A Reminder That Culture Starts With You
If you’re a CEO, HR executive, or team leader reading this, consider this your wake-up call. Bullying doesn’t just happen in “bad” companies. It happens in high-performing, high-profile places too – often quietly, and often at the expense of your most loyal and capable people.
When bullying is present, happiness can’t survive. And when happiness disappears, so does innovation, collaboration, and retention.
It’s time to stop viewing culture as something soft. Culture is the foundation of everything you build. And safety, psychological safety, isn’t optional. It’s the entry point to every good thing you want from your team. It’s empowering for the employees and essential for the business.
If you’ve experienced bullying at work, and you’ve lost your sense of enjoyment, satisfaction, or meaning, you’re not alone. I’ve been there. And I’ve worked with hundreds of others who’ve been there too.
The damage is real. But so is the healing.
Happiness isn’t about ignoring pain or fighting through it.. It’s about reclaiming what matters: connection, purpose, and the belief that you deserve better.
And you do.
My soon-to-be-published book, Surviving Bully Culture: A Career Navigating Workplace Bullying And A Guide for Healing, shares more about my personal journey through workplace degradation in the newsroom and the stories of others who experienced the same. It’s a guide for recognizing, recovering from, and rising above toxic workplace dynamics.
Until then, continue to follow the blog for insights, stories, and strategies on building a healthier, happier work life.